F4TFriday #50 – What I Know Now


What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 18 year old you?

Probably that a slightly grumpy, antisocial person such as me is still lucky enough to have a pretty damn amazing sex life!

What one thing might shock that younger you?

I’m not sure there’s really much. Even from an early age my tastes and desires have been pretty much as they are now. The answer would probably be similar to question 1.

Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

I have been more fortunate than I probably deserve through my life in that most of the fantasies I had, I achieved relatively early on in my life. There’s only one I have left and I’m pretty sure that is gonna be taken care of very soon😏

What part of the younger you’s sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?

I honestly can’t say I look back with a great deal of nostalgia because for me it’s just got better and better, especially this past year. I suppose there was the initial sense of wonder those first few times but apart from that nothing really.

More F4TF here


F4TF #32 – Spreading it around

Do you believe one gender is more naturally promiscuous than the other? Why do you think this is?

I’ll be honest, I’ve never really cared for the word promiscuous. It’s always smacked of judgement and as if to be promiscuous is somehow wrong.

As for which gender is more promiscuous, well I couldn’t really say. I think it’s in us all to a certain extent. It’s more a conscious choice that some choose to go down that road and others don’t. I suppose, growing up in the 1980’s with the shadow of AIDS looming large before I’d even had sex, it probably had a certain impact on some of my age group.

As for myself, I’ve never been what I’d class as promiscuous. As one female friend once described me, a “serial monogomist”.  I’ve been extremely lucky through my adult life to enjoy probably more than my fair share of female company. I can however say, that I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve had one night stands. The whole casual thing just never really did it for me. I always needed more than a quick fuck to keep me happy! There’s certainly never been any moral thought behind it all, it’s always just been what made me happiest.

F4TF #30 – One Or Many?

Is monogamy a natural inclination? Probably not. There’s probably some deep seated part in the DNA of everyone that wants to mate with as many people as possible! I think the whole concept of it is more down to social convention than anything else.

With the exception of one poly relationship when I was very much younger, I’ve always been monogamous. I’ll not pretend that it wasn’t a fun time because it was. I realised pretty quickly though that it didn’t suit me for many reasons.

I’m not the jealous type but I am entirely territorial. I’ve never been keen on sharing. What’s mine is mine alone. It would be pretty damn hypocritical of me to have that attitude and still expect a partner to share me with someone else!

It’s always just seemed easier to me to stick to one person at a time. Potential jealousy aside, it means I can focus my attention entirely on that person. It just makes life easier in my opinion. I can be pretty full on and tend to put in a lot of effort. To attempt to do this with more than one equally would be far too exhausting frankly. This has always been the way with me no matter if the relationship has been full on D/s or just play partners. I’m not greedy so one is definitely enough.

I honestly don’t see a time when this will ever change. I’m quite discerning when it comes to relationships. If I’m in one, I’m there for a good reason. I may have a bit of a roving eye in that I do tend to flirt a lot but I’ve never really had the desire to have my own “harem”.

For me, monogamy has always been a very conscious choice and with very rare exceptions, it’s certainly one that I’ve never found to be a hard choice. I know many people are happy with the poly life and more power to them. Me, I’ll stick to one on one.

More food for thought here

F4TF #29 – Talking Dirty?

Talking dirty: “Fuck Yeah!” or “Ewww, NO!”

What are your thoughts on the subject? Do you like it or not? Why? What kind of things, if any do you like to say or have said?

My simple reaction to the question is a massive Fuck Yeah! It’s something I’ve always loved.

For someone that has always loved words and language in general it’s probably no great shock. I’ve noticed the past few years especially it seems to be making even more of a comeback, if indeed it ever went away.

It’s part of the seduction, it’s a huge part, certainly for me, of the actual sex. I guess that it’s probably down to the way we interact these days. We spend more and more time on our phones and modern life sometimes keeps us apart for periods. You gotta get creative at times to keep it interesting.

What form does it take? Well I guess it tends to be more subtle filth for most of it. I suppose you’d probably say it was more suggestive rather than actual filth.  When I’m with someone I like to try and  seduce them every day. Especially if I’m not always with them for whatever reason.

If I’m heading out to meet them, I’ll often phone or message en-route and describe in pretty graphic detail exactly what I have in store. I rather love the thought of them sitting, playing it over in their head. That usually has the desired effect!

As for during, I tend to be very quiet initially then when the testosterone starts to spike I become very vocal. It’s actually one of the few times I genuinely become quite filthy! It does tend to surprise at times. A kind of Jekyll and Hyde thing. Not just filth of course. A quiet command or growl delivered in her ear at just the right moment can be even more effective!

I’m quite lucky in that I have the slightly gravelly tones for it. Indeed possibly the nicest compliment I have ever been paid was very recent. It was suggested that I could make reading a cake recipe sound sexy with my voice! Cue monstrous ego boost😂

As for my partners, I love to hear them being vocal and spout filth. It’s guttural, it’s wanton and I bloody love it! There’s a time and a place for ladylike behaviour but that isn’t one of them! The filthier the better as far as I’m concerned. I like to know she’s having as much fun as I am so it’s definitely a good thing as far as I’m concerned.

F4TF #28 – What Do You Do?

How do you refer to sex? Do you “Fuck” or “Make Love”? Which terms do you like/dislike and why do you feel that way about them?

I foresee yet another euphemism filled topic!

This one got me thinking as always. Trying to remember all the colourful terms I’ve used throughout my adult life. I guess it  was simpler back then. I’d have used the phrases “do it” or “doing it”. Simple and child-like almost I guess. I’m struggling to recall many of the terms I’d have used, especially in my younger days. Being Scottish we have a wonderfully wide range of playground names for it!

I suppose the main ones, as mentioned in the question would be making love and fucking.

Now I suppose we could argue the point that technically you have to be in love to be making love. Then again, no matter what your feelings may be, if you are in full S&M mode would you really use the term making love? I guess sometimes it would fit regardless. Probably depends on context and if I’m in one of my tender moods(yeah they do happen occasionally).

I think fuck and fucking has pretty much become ubiquitous. For me it’s probably the most versatile too. Whispered gently, ” Baby I just want to hold you and fuck you all night” or alternatively growled “I am going to fucking fuck you all night” and you get the picture!

As for terms I don’t like, there aren’t really that many. I’d probably say the one I care least for is bonk. I remember it was popular in the 90’s and it just didn’t sound right to me. It’s way too child like and sounds like a noise a cartoon character would make rather than a sexual act!

Overall, on reflection, I’m definitely firmly on the side of fuck.

More Food for thought here

F4TF #27 – Bits ‘n’ Bobs

What are your favourite terms for referring to “those” bits of your/your partner’s body? Which terms do you utterly detest? Why do you feel that way about them?

It’s the wonderful thing about the English language. So many words for so few body parts. Let’s be honest, just to list all the colourful euphemisms could comfortably fill a page!

When I’m writing I suppose I use different words for each part depending on the tone or context of what I’m writing. I suppose the same is true when “in flagrante”. Tone, mood and intensity would probably subconsciously make me choose a particular term.

If I’m being polite or terribly formal then I’d probably refer to ” gentleman’s parts” or even “the old chap”! More often than not though I simply use the word cock. It’s the funny thing, I can’t think of any term that I’d particularly dislike.

Boobs, again are pretty simple. Boobs, tits, breasts, take your pick. I suppose in this case my super polite euphemism would be ” the girls “. Again I honestly can’t think offhand of any term that I have any real dislike for.

Female parts are a little more awkward. There really is no in between here. Cunt is not a word I’m particularly fond of but in many situations it just somehow seems right. Many of the other words just seem quite infantile and almost child-like. Pussy is almost ubiquitous I suppose and is just about passable. Here though is one of the few cases of a euphemism I don’t care for. One girl in my past referred to it as her ” foofoo”. I had never heard that one before or since but for me was a total and utter turn off! Each to their own I suppose.

F4TF #24 – Location, Location, Location

Is there a location that you have never had sex in/at but you would love to try it?

A car? cinema? outdoors? the beach? a church?

Do you think it will ever happen? What has stopped you doing it so far?

Excellent question. I suppose I’ll go through the list to start.

A car. Yes, a few times. Not being a car driver myself the opportunity’s are kinda of limited. I’m not a huge fan though I have to say. Bit too cramped for my liking. I like a bit of space to stretch out.

Cinema…..not actual sex. I did get a rather memorable blow job however. Certainly more fun than the film that was showing!(Four weddings and a funeral for the record).

Outdoors…….my absolute favourite place. I’ve always loved AL fresco sex! The best thing about it is that it’s always so different. I have to say, one of the most memorable being in January this year during heavy snow…..one of the most fun sessions I’ve ever had. Doesn’t sound fun but it was incredible. What I’d really love is outdoor fun in a huge thunderstorm! That would something just amazing to me.

The beach…….just the once and not something I’d be keen to repeat. That sand gets literally everywhere🙈

A church……being a lifelong Heathen I’ve never set foot in a church so I think that this one is highly unlikely.

As for places I haven’t yet, I guess I rather like the idea of having sex over my desk at work. Indeed, the idea featured quite heavily in many fantasies in the past and no doubt will in the future.

Chances of it happening? Probably rather slim. I think it might be somewhat frowned upon by my co workers and my manager!

More food for thought here

F4TF #23-Trading Places

If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex, would you? If so, how would you spend that day?

A corker of a question! I’ve written many times from a female perspective on my blog but the difference has always been that I’ve been part of, borne witness to and asked about them about the experience afterwards.

This is a totally unique concept, one which I’d only considered very briefly in the past. That was after enduring the frankly terrible Mel Gibson rom com “What women want”.

So a whole day in the body of a woman? Where to start! First and foremost…….boobs! I mean who the hell isn’t gonna go there first! I just hope nature has blessed me with an ample pair! Obviously I am so gonna spend a good few of the 24 hrs getting to know all my new parts. First port of call is the cupboard to retrieve the wand and a few toys. Think it would be interesting to experience them from the sharp end. A good few hours of alone time spent experiencing multiple orgasms a few good squirty orgasms! As someone who loves to see and provide that then the temptation to experience it would be way too much to resist.

I’m kinda hoping I transfer my own sex drive into this new body of mine and haven’t satisfied my appetite. My next port of call, and here’s where it might get a touch weird, arrogant and narcissistic would be my place. Yes, the male CJ! I think the first person I’d want to have sex with as a female would be the male me. I’d want to find out exactly what it feels like to get fucked by me. Although I must say the male me isn’t gonna get a chance to pull any of his kinky stuff on me! Just honest to goodness sex is what I’d be after.

As i say, It’s maybe a little weird. I’d do this not because I’m the worlds greatest lover. It’s partly because I know I can trust me and partly because I’d like to find out from a female perspective if I’m as good as I think(highly unlikely😂)

So once I’ve worn out the male me it’d be time for a late lunch with the girls. Being a bloke we never get to experience these sort of intimate chats with friends so the experience of that would be worthwhile I reckon.

Since it’s Friday, I’m guessing I’d be going out with the girls later that night so home to get ready. So it’d be(cliché alert) time to try on about a dozen different outfits. Maybe even tweet a few pics and get some feedback on my choice.

Off into town for cocktails and dancing with the girls. I think it would be hilarious to watch the night unfold from the female perspective. All the wannabe lotharios trying their cheesy chat up lines! I doubt very much I’d be going home with any of them though, I’m not that kind of girl!

So then home and finally get to experience that pleasure women are always talking about, that moment at the end of the day when the bra finally comes off!

More food for thought here

F4TF #22 – For Your Viewing Pleasure

Do you watch porn? How does it fit into your sex life?

How often do you watch it? Do you watch it alone or with a partner?

Have you specific ‘types’ of porn you prefer?

Are you embarrassed to admit what you like to watch? Would you rather cut off a limb than have your browser history discovered?

Do you have any ethical qualms about watching porn?

I guess I’ve always had porn in my life. Right back to the pre internet days of my early teens when it was a copy of playboy. Then obviously it became more visible and accessible when the internet came about.

These days, I honestly can’t say it plays any great part in my life. I have in the past watched it with partners and enjoyed it. Indeed I probably in all likelihood do so again in the future.

I’ve found as I get older, I have less interest in it. Maybe it’s down to having pretty much seen it all on the screen over the years, familiarity breeds contempt as it were. Even in quiet “me time” I rarely bother with it these days. I’ve always found my mind to be a vastly superior source of filth in general anyway. There is more than enough stored in the “wank bank” to keep me happy! The fact that it’s all realistic and relatable and not some stupidly conceived scenario makes it all the better for me. Plus the fact I know the “stars” intimately is an added bonus😉

As for the kind of porn I watch, I guess it in some ways reflects my preferences in the opposite sex rather than the way I generally have sex. I tend to go for Bbw, big boobs or amateur stuff. A lot of it is far too polished and way too contrived for my taste. It may surprise people to know that I rarely watch any BDSM or kink related porn. I think that’s just down to the fact that I’m a doer not a voyeur.  Watching someone do it really does nothing for me in the way actually participating does.

As with most aspects of my life and sexual desires, I am pretty open about them to anyone who asks. If you were to look through my browser history, probably 95% would be WordPress, twitter, various kink forums and body mod forums. Most of the rest would just be boring day to day crap. Any porn in my history would probably make up a tiny fraction of it so anyone is more than welcome to have a look!

I’ll be honest, I’ve never really considered any ethical dilemma regarding porn. Like everything else, as far as I’m concerned, if it consensual then who the hell am I to judge. From what I’ve read, a lot of the stars make a very good living and to them it’s just a job.

F4TF #21 – Bosom Buddies

For guys and girls who like girls – what is it that you like about boobs? Is there an ideal shape or size?

For everyone – do you think the female “chest” has been over sexualised?

Bosoms, boobies, titties, norks, funbags. Call them what you will but let’s be honest, who doesn’t love them! I’d probably go as far as to say that with the exception of eyes, they are probably my favourite things in the whole world!

For me when it comes to boobs it’s all about sight and feel. They are a delight for the eye and cupping them in your hands is the most fantastic feeling.

Big or small, I can honestly say I love them all but I definitely have a great preference for big, in fact the bigger the better! I’ve never been one to adhere to the old adage that “more than a handful is a waste”. How can you possibly have too much of a good thing!?!

Add in modern trends like nipple piercing, a recent revelation for me and one which I can truely say I am a big fan of. The only thing to do with breasts I’m not a fan of is implants. Now this is in no way a judgement. There are many reasons for the process but they just don’t do it for me. They don’t sit naturally and they just don’t feel right. As I say, just my humble opinion.

As for being sexualised, I’m afraid I’ll take the politicians option and say yes and no. No in the respect that I’m a child of the 70’s/80’s. I grew up with breasts on page 3 of just about every tabloid newspaper of the day. Even though it did make my prepubescent heart flutter every time I opened the paper, it kinda normalised it in some ways. It made breasts, quite rightly, seem an everyday regular thing. Not something to be hidden or indeed ashamed of.

On the other side of the coin they are literally everywhere now, on blogs and let’s be honest, most of our twitter feeds are filled with them(or is that just me😉) I suppose it’s more subjective and even contextual than anything else. Breasts are obviously the most visible and in your face  sign of sexuality.