F4TFriday #50 – What I Know Now


What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 18 year old you?

Probably that a slightly grumpy, antisocial person such as me is still lucky enough to have a pretty damn amazing sex life!

What one thing might shock that younger you?

I’m not sure there’s really much. Even from an early age my tastes and desires have been pretty much as they are now. The answer would probably be similar to question 1.

Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

I have been more fortunate than I probably deserve through my life in that most of the fantasies I had, I achieved relatively early on in my life. There’s only one I have left and I’m pretty sure that is gonna be taken care of very soon😏

What part of the younger you’s sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?

I honestly can’t say I look back with a great deal of nostalgia because for me it’s just got better and better, especially this past year. I suppose there was the initial sense of wonder those first few times but apart from that nothing really.

More F4TF here


F4TF #33 – The Taste Of Things To Come

What is it you particularly like (or dislike) about oral sex?

Do you prefer to give or receive?

I’ve always been a fan of oral sex. Right back to when I first had sex I always loved it. Recently though I think it’s fair to say I’ve become even more of a fan of that is possible.

So what do I like about it? Well the easy answer pretty much everything! The taste, the reaction and the level of pleasure it brings to my partner. The way I can tease(or torment). Bring her incredibly close and stop or just bring her off over and over again to the point where she literally can’t move! I’m very blessed that my girl tastes incredible and is highly responsive.

As for giving and receiving, well until recently I’ve always been almost entirely a giver. For some reason receiving has done very little for me. I have absolutely no idea why but it’s always been the case. Besides, I’ve always got so much pleasure from giving. Again though I’m very lucky that my girl not only has a passion for giving (even more than recieving) but is blessed with ability that I’ve never experienced! It’s fair to say my interest in receiving has definitely been rekindled!

Overall though I’m still very much a giver.

More F4TF here

F4TF #25 – Just A Number?

Do you have a preference when it comes to the age of your sexual partners? What is it and why do you think you have it?

Is there a limit in terms of age that you will not break? What’s too young or too old for you? Why?

Age is just a number………It’s one of the(many) clichés I’ve used a great many times through my life. I’ve used it to comfort friends and family. I’ve used it as an offhand throwaway joking manner. The point is, for the most part I certainly believe it.

Do I have an age preference? I can’t say that I consciously do. Most of my recent partners have all been in their mid to late 30’s. I’m not sure if that indicates any general preference or wether it’s just the way it has happened.

In terms of limits, I guess in my head anyway, that’s where it gets a bit more complicated.

When I was in my early twenties I was in a couple of romantic liaisons with older women in their late 30’s. Guess it’d be called a cougar phase these days! It made absolutely no difference to me that there was quite a large age gap. I’ve no idea if my partners had any concerns.

Now the reverse of the coin. At the beginning of this year I was involved with a sub some 17 years younger. An intense but rather brief relationship. I’ll not go into the details but it was somewhere I never thought I’d tread. I was always very uncomfortable on FL when messaged by those much younger. I suppose the difference here was I’d met her, in real life and could see that she was not only mature beyond her years but a damn sight smarter than me! Again I’ll not go into detail because it certainly wasn’t the only reason but ultimately the fact I never felt entirely comfortable was a huge part of why it was so brief.

Would I have been so uncomfortable with someone quite a few years my senior? Probably not. It’s a weird kind of almost hypocrisy but there it is. I’m sure someone much cleverer than me could explain it.

I think it’s fair to say it’s probably easier with someone closer to my own age. There’s a higher chance, apart from anything else that you’ll have far more in common than with a big age gap. At the end of the day though, age really should be just a number.

F4TF #20 – Lady Parts

For guys and girls who like girls -does how a woman’s genitals look matter to you? Do you think there is an ‘ideal’ look?

For everyone – do you think porn has impacted on how we think about the appearance of women’s genitalia? (Bleaching, hair removal, cosmetic surgery etc?)

Ah lady parts, how do I love thee, let me count the ways!

Yeah yeah, huge shock I know but  I love lady parts. I love how they look, the subtle aroma of them, the taste, that unique sound  and most importantly the feel. You could in fact say the pretty much appeal to all the senses. Nature’s gift that keeps on giving as it were.

As for what they actually look like, I wouldn’t say it was that important to me. As long as it’s well kept and more importantly clean then it’s basically all good. I’m not particularly concerned by much else. I’m old enough to remember when female pubic hair was an actual thing but more about that later. I suppose, if pushed I’d say my preference was for shaven or close trimmed.

Ultimately though, functionality trumps appearance any day in my book. I love the feeling of being tightly enveloped!

As for how porn has impacted on them? Well I think it’s had a pretty big impact in fairness. As I said,  I’m old enough to remember when pubic hair grew wild and free! These days, well it’s been a while since I was with anyone au natural. Virtually every woman these days at least trims and it seems more and more are completely hair free down there. Add things like piercings down below (a relatively new one to me) and it’s clear there’s some influence.

I think that this is especially true in younger women. I think most anyone under the age of 30 will have grown up and seen the “ideal body type”. It seems to be seen these days that pubic hair is strange somehow or unnatural which is a real shame in my humble opinion.

More Food for Thought here

F4TF #16 – Kinky Fuckery

Do you have any fetishes? Will you tell us about them; what they are, why you enjoy them, maybe how you developed them? Are you ashamed or embarrassed by them or are you happy to be open about them? Do you think they are unusual?

Where to start with this question! It’s one of these subjects I could ramble for hours about but when it comes to writing it down I just don’t know where to start!

I guess I’ve always had fetishes(really dislike that word as it seems to imply strange somehow) and kinks right back to when I first started having sex a quarter of a century ago.

I guess my main thing has always been D/s. Now in fairness, I’ve never really considered this a kink or fetish. To me it’s just who I am. I get off on trust and control. Pretty much from the first time I had sex I always felt the need to be in control of my partner. It was a couple of years before I discovered the name for it and began to explore further, finding out that my naturally protective nature was not only welcomed but essentially a huge part of the dynamic. I guess that is the root of it all.

As I progressed it moved onto rope and shibari which is something I enjoy immensely. It’s the aspect of total restraint, total control that I love.

Knife play has been quite a big part of my kink for a very long time too. I’ve always been fascinated by them. I guess it once again comes down to the total control aspect. Also of course is the total level of trust involved in this kind of play, your sub/bottom is trusting you with not only their physical well-being but potentially their life!

It’s a pretty taboo subject however. Wasn’t until fairly recently a good friend mentioned that it was a huge trigger for her so knives are something I tend not to be quite so open about these days.

Impact play is another thing I’ve always been into, right back to almost the earliest days of my sex life. It was initially just good old fashioned spanking. Then of course through time and experimentation moving onto floggers, crops, canes and my very favourite, the humble but evocative belt. I was and always will be fascinated by the different marks they leave behind. All serving the same purpose and all saying the same thing……mine.

Add things like forced orgasm/denial/control, biting, a healthy dose of S&M and I think it’s fair to say I have a fairly extensive list of fetishes. I remember a while back when I was on fetlife, the list, when viewed on the screen actually surprised even me! Of course that’s not to say I don’t enjoy a healthy dollop of vanilla. Let’s be honest, it’s not all floggers. Sometimes you just wanna cuddle(kinky bugger I am)!

As for being open about things, yes I am up to a point. Most of my friends know about part of what I get up to, in the Dominance sense anyway. I obviously don’t go into details. Apart from anything else it takes too damn long to explain the finer points of everything! As for being embarrassed, I can honestly say I am not. I’ve never seen anything I do as usual. It’s just a small part of who I am. With the exception of control, trust and protection I’d say there were none of these things essential to my enjoyment of sex, they are just an enhancement.