🖤🥀

Merry Christmas to you. I miss you and love you more than you will ever know or my words could ever fully express🖤🥀

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Musical interlude

By way of something a little different here’s a few things I recorded while working on my own music. It’s a bit different to my usual style and it’s recorded on my phone so like me, bad quality and rough as hell but from the heart! For my favourite hooman 🖤

Every rose has it’s thorn

https://instaud.io/private/5e666bbbd2e2f8e2c7fd40061db74d4fa34961a5

More than words

https://instaud.io/private/38764f7a8b917de6ce03d36fe031af9db9deb432

I’m with stupid

Can’t believe December has arrived already! It’s been a strange sort of year it has to be said. For most of the year I can say this was the best year of my life. I’ve honestly never known happiness like it. The wheels kinda came off things in October though. Then a fortnight ago it really got worse.

After a particularly heavy booze binge I found myself in hospital with alcohol poisoning and a blood alcohol level which the doctor described as usually lethal. The frightening fact was that for a brief time I did stop breathing. There was no bright lights or wonderous visions just nothing but me apparently mumbling the same name over and over as I slipped out of consciousness. All in all a pretty damn ignominious way to round out the year. I’m happy to say though I’ve been lucky and there seems to be no damage done other than to my pride.

I suppose my stupidity just goes to remind me that no matter how bad things look it can certainly always be worse. Not to mention the fact that I’m not as young as I used to be and really have to be more careful. Lesson painfully learned. So just remember, life is fleeting. Hold the one you love tight and don’t ever let them go. Be kind to each other but perhaps more importantly, be kind to yourself.

I hope the festive season brings y’all all you desire.

When love and hate collide

Pushing, pulling

Running away

Yet arms always open on return

And the mess when the same thing happens

When I should have acted differently

Bringing doubts of old

Demons of the past

Long since slaughtered

And deep down knowing

Could never again exist

Things that look beyond repair

Are always fixable

And the invisible thread stretches

But despite everything refuses to break

The things that can never be deleted

From the heart and soul

Afraid to feel more pain

Yet enduring it daily

Because some pain never fades with time

Despite what we tell ourselves

When sleep is no longer an escape

And the face and scent still present in the night

And the inability to quit fighting

For the only thing worth fighting for

No lies, no web of deceit

Just imperfect thoughts and actions

The corrosion, the toxicity

Of self doubt and insecurity

The sense of misunderstanding and loss

And dreams not yet fulfilled

Even when hovering between

Here and beyond

My last breath

Used to say your name

Perfectly imperfect

At that point where failures hurts more

And the safety net breaks temporarily

The few outweigh the many

And nothing makes sense anymore

Love should be enough

But mistakes hurt

Without them

It’s perfect

Wishing every ten minutes

Could last a lifetime
And love
Conquers all

Only

A picture painted in words and music

No photograph required

All the things

He’s no longer able to say again

Still counting sleeps in his mind

To convince himself he’s fine

The thing that will never fade

His heart’s only desire

No matter what time passes

He writes the songs

That no one else will hear

Don’t close your eyes

The numbness consumes

But never completely enough

Happiness turns to maudlin tears

Hopes and dreams to dust

No amount of whisky

Can drown out the feelings

Can hide the image of the face at night

And the sleep that never comes

The memory of the voice

And the laugh that mended a broken soul

Of mistakes made for the right reasons

Or what should be aeternum

Leaves no happy ending once more

Only silence

But all the time screaming inside

But the only war worth fighting

Is the one that can’t be won

Until the Babylon candle burns bright

And the yellow light blinks once more

TMI Tuesday: August 22, 2017

After this week’s TMI Tuesday you may say, “Get out of my head!”

The Psychology of Sex

1. For you, can sex be separated from love?

Undoubtedly but in my experience the best sex usually comes about when there is love or at least a pretty deep connection.


2. Can sex be separated from caring?

Again it’s a yes and the answer to question one could apply equally here too.

3. Men: Does sex seem to be something that you can never get enough of and are constantly seeking or thinking about?

I’m blessed (or cursed depending on the situation) with a very high sex drive and it seems to have increased ten fold since I’ve been with my girl! It’s definitely something I can never get enough of. As for constantly thinking about it, I can’t say it rules my life in that respect.


4. Women: Is sex secondary to intimacy, physical closeness, and commitment?

I can’t speak for my girl but I know that sex is as hugely important to her as it is to me. 


5. Who is more discriminating in choosing sexual partners–you or your significant other?

We are both pretty discriminating when it comes to that.

Bonus: Who is more likely to take on additional sexual partners, you or your significant other?

Neither of us. I have been monogamous most of my life and my girl is the same.

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More TMI here