Kink of the Week May 1-15: Jeans

Jeans are without a doubt the favourite item of clothing in my wardrobe. The chances of seeing me in a suit outside working hours are pretty rare to say the least.

Jeans are rather like me, no nonsense, hard wearing and able to stand up to all the rough and tumble of life. Other than tshirts I’ve got more jeans than anything else in my wardrobe. I think I have around a dozen pairs.

With regards colour, well like Henry Ford(and indeed most of my clothing) I have any colour, as long as it’s black. Style is invariably tight, just the style I’ve always preferred. On a vain level I have pretty short but muscular legs so shows them off quite well and of course does emphasis other more intimate areas 😏

On a woman I am a huge fan of jeans. There is nothing emphasises the beautiful feminine curves of a well rounded derriere (leather excepted) quite so well as being encased in tight denim. Yes, it’s fair to say I’m a big fan.
More KOTW here

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Kink of the Week February 16-28: Dancing

I suppose it’s no surprise I am a big fan of dancing. I’m someone who is surrounded by music constantly. Listening to it, playing and writing it. It’s been the way of things my entire life. Dancing just seemed like a perfectly natural extension of it.

Right back to my early days at rock concerts, and OK I guess that’s a loose interpretation of dancing, it seemed to me as a natural way to get close to women. Almost like an easy ice breaker in a noisy environment.

I’ll not claim to be the world’s greatest dancer but I have pretty good rhythm. Even as I’ve got older I’ve mostly managed to avoid the dreaded “dad dancing”. In my mid teens I did have a couple of lessons. Nothing subtle like the foxtrot or rumba but I did manage a pretty decent tango. It did raise a few eyebrows among my friends at the time but my dear old mum figured out right away that it was my way to try and impress the ladies. She always did say that women liked a man who could dance.

For me that was always the key. Dance, for want of a better word, is basically fully clothed foreplay. At times probably the very beginning of the entire seduction process. Done properly it’s basically seduction without words. The closeness of two bodies moving in rhythmic(hopefully) unison. The slow tease, the fast frenetic energy, all the precursor of pleasures to come.

I love to watch it done properly. I haven’t done much outside the comfort of my own home for a long time but I hope to again in the future. Yeah I think it’s fair to say I’m a huge fan.

More KOTW here

Kink of the Week February 1-15: Threesomes

Ah yes the threesome, the absolute holy grail for any red blooded young male! For me as a teenager discovering sex then yes, that was exactly my thinking. So for this particular topic I find myself delving into the deep dark archives of my mind to the only experience I have on the topic. The teenage me, same grumpy face but considerably more hair!

I was 19, fully discovering myself sexually and with a partner who was the same age and vastly more experienced than me. Also my first experience of a bisexual partner. A fantastic time, full of new experiences and fully embracing the lifestyle properly for the first time. 

When the subject of threesomes came up then naturally I was very curious and open to the idea. Actually that’s an understatement but I didn’t necessarily think it would happen. 

It did happen though. In fact it happened a handful of times with one of her girl pals. As for the actual experience itself. Well it was enjoyable but ultimately for me a little underwhelming. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the experience, hell, what person in their right mind wouldn’t. Perhaps it was a case that in my young mind I had built the idea up to be something even more than it could ever be.

I think there was more to it though. My girl at the time was never the jealous type but I noticed a change in her after this. Just subtle comments about me preferring the other girl. I could definitely see how this could have caused bigger problems if the relationship had lasted longer than it did.

For me there’s never really been any great temptation to try it again. Yeah it was good to tick it off my bucket list so early on but that’s about it. I can’t really foresee my ever being tempted to try it again.

I’ve always been very much a one woman guy and I don’t really see that changing any time soon. I guess some people might find that strange but it’s just the way I’ve always been. I prefer to focus my entire attention on just one woman. I’m quite intense and full on(some would say a little too much) and keeping it one on one allows me to do that far better I think.
More KOTW here

Kink of the Week January 16-31: Safewords

I’ve noticed of late that the whole subject of safewords has become a somewhat contentious one. I can see both sides of the argument very clearly. I guess it’s like a great many things within the lifestyle, one size doesn’t fit all and you have to find what works for you. I myself have definitely always been in the pro safeword camp. 

For me it’s always been just something I have given my sub prior to playing while still negotiating limits. I think having one in place is even more important if the sub is new or relatively inexperienced. It’s not something I’d expect to be used, indeed I can honestly count on one hand the amount of times over the years how often it’s been used. 

For me it’s just a little extra safety. Not just for her but for me. Let’s face it, we all like to think we’re infallible but we are all human ultimately and can mess it up(very unDomly admission I know!) I like to know it’s in place in case I do. 

Would I refuse to play without one in place? I honestly don’t know. Even when the case against has been broached the discussion has always gone my way. Maybe a case of watch this space!

As for the no safeword argument, I can see plenty of validity in that. I myself rarely play on a casual basis so it could probably be argued that it’s not such a necessity for me as I know my sub. Indeed I had this very discussion last year. The lady in question argued that she trusted me enough with her body then she trusted me to know when she had had enough. Very fair point indeed and one I found hard to argue with.

As for the actual word itself, unless they are used to using a specific word then I give them the word. Just a daft thing maybe but usually something personal that I associate with them. Maybe it makes the whole thing a little more individual and less generic. Just my little quirk.

I really have no idea what has lead to the apparent reluctance of some to use them these days. Personally, if I was a sub, and a Dom refused to discuss them then alarm bells would be ringing. I can of course only speak from my own D/s perspective and no doubt a Master/slave dynamic is very different. I tend to remind my sub at the beginning of play so it’s there and fresh in her mind if needed.  From me, I don’t see my use of them changing anytime soon.

More kinks here

Kink of the Week September 16-30: Backs

As is often the way with Kink of the week, the topic posed is often something I’d not really thought about on the surface but if I look deeper then there usually is something there.

So backs. What can I say about my own back? Well like the rest of me it’s on the hairy side and it’s sporting rather a lot of tattoos. 

Now I’m not one for receiving any sort of pain but I must admit there is something tremendously satisfying about having ones back clawed. You know that moment in the throws when her nails sink into your skin and rake your back. It’s great feedback that you’re doing a good job and for me it’s a huge turn on.

So what about my partners back. Well visually it’s appealing. Taking in the whole of her back, tracing my fingers all the way from shoulders right down to the tantalising curves of her hips…

Something I enjoy very much is administering a nice long hot oil massage. If you’ve never tried it then I highly recommend it. It’s guaranteed when done properly to relax her so much.

Now something which up until fairly recently would have been a hard limit for me is corset piercing. I’ve become quite fascinated of late by the whole beauty and intricacy of it. It’s something I never thought would appeal to me and something I won’t be attempting for quite some time yet but it just goes to show how things can change.

I think more than anything for me, I see the back as a blank canvas. She is restrained, hands above her head and ready for a flogging, the mind wanders as to what kind of intricate patterns you will leave behind on her skin. Every flogger, every scene a different utterly unique collage left behind for you to admire. A tremendous thrill for me and one which I’ll never tire of.

And last but not least, a most excellent location for knife play. The cold steel running from the shoulder blades down and tracing to the hips. The beauty of the long white lines dotted and interspersed with red along pale skin is just breathtaking in my book.
More KOTW here

Kink of the Week September 1-15: Hair

Not really sure if I’d class it as a kink but I’d say I have definite and well defined preferences when it comes to hair on the opposite sex. In fact I’d say hair is usually the second thing I look at on a woman after their eyes. 

Maybe it all comes from growing up in the 80’s and being a lifelong fan of rock music but hair has always been important. The big hair styles of that time have probably left a lasting impact on me from my adolescent years. Not least some of the terrible hairstyles I sported back then🙈

The old cliché about gentlemen preferring blondes definitely doesn’t apply to me. For some reason it’s always been brunettes and darker hair I’ve preferred. Indeed I’ve only ever been with one blonde my whole life. That’s not to say I’d avoid someone blonde, it’s just not what catches my eye straight off.

Coloured hair has always been a favourite. I was involved last year with a girl who changed her hair colour as often as her mood! She went from red to blue to green to jet black in a matter of weeks. Was always interesting to guess which shade she would be when I saw her! Even throw into the mix grey. Now this is something I hadn’t even thought about until recently but a young lady of my acquaintance has the most vivid and stunning grey hair.

Now when it comes to style this is for me where it gets clear cut. For me it’s got to be long. Perhaps it’s a primal thing, perhaps it’s just a rock thing again but my eye just seems to home in on long hair. Indeed when I first set eyes on the last girl I was involved with, the first thing that struck me was her long flowing dark hair.

I think it’s a combination of things when it comes to long hair. I love at the beginning of a scene taking time to prepare her hair. One of my favorite things is to rope the hair into a corset. Aesthetically very pleasing, practical and gives us both a chance to warm up for the main event. 

Or that moment when you’re getting frisky together when she stops, wraps her hair up in a bun by herself. You know she means business at that point!

Grabbing a huge fistful of hair and yanking her head back. Leaving her exposed, vulnerable and totally at your control. Such an incredible turn on and obviously not possible with short hair.

Or just something so very simple. Just the feeling of waking up, her hair draped over your chest. A wonderful feeling of closeness.

For me, it’s definitely long hair all the way.
More KOTW here

Kink of the Week July 16-31: Vibrators

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I first encountered vibrators in the late 90’s. A girl I was seeing at the time had a few of them. To be perfectly honest I wasn’t that impressed. They were the old Ann Summers products. Hard plastic bullet shaped and a pretty ludicrous, what I later discovered was a Rampant rabbit. I could see their potential and they obviously did the job pretty well but in all honesty, I never really gave them another thought and using them on myself was never of any interest.

It wasn’t until years later they started to find a place in the tool box. Not in vast quantities by any means but I usually have two in there.

This one from lovehoney is cheap as chips and powerful for it’s size. Works a treat too.

Really though, the one I tend to use most is the ubiquitous wand. I used the Hitachi model for a long time. As good as it is I never liked having to plug it in.

“Darth”

Meet Darth! My current favourite wand incarnation. It’s not as powerful as some of the models available but does the job well.

For denied orgasm it builds things quite nicely. Really nice when I’m feeling in a sadistic mood! 

By far my favourite use though is for forced orgasm. Time spent on rope work and then incorporating it into the tie. Switch on and watch the fun unfold😈

I think vibrators are like most of the toys and tools we use, they’ve all got their time and place. Not something that comes out of the tool box every time I play though.

More kinks here

Kink of the Week July 1-15: Kneeling

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The act of kneeling. Of all the acts within the lifestyle it’s one of the simplest yet one of the most utterly evocative.

In it’s simplest form it’s the act of submission. That first time she takes her place at your feet it stirs just about every emotion for me possible. Here is this girl, the object of your desire. You have worked hard to prove yourself worthy and she has now willingly kneeled before you. Put herself in this vulnerable position just for you. For me it goes beyond kink. Desire, oh yes and in vast quantities! Pride though and a primal desire to protect. 

It’s from that point onwards that it will generally become part of our rituals. I’m not one for having my submissive in that position for long periods of time. Merely in the form of an observance.

On the opposite side of the coin I find kneeling to be effective as punishment. When used in conjunction with corner time it’s pretty damn effective at focusing a bratty mind!

More #KOTW here

Kink of the Week June 1-15: Pubic Hair

I always have had kinda mixed feelings when it comes to pubic hair. I’ve been around long enough to remember when it wasn’t really an issue. It was just there and that was that. I had been sexually active for quite a while before I came across(pun intended) a girl who was hairless.

From my own point of view, I have from a pretty early age been a trimmer. It’s obviously a very long time ago and I’ve absolutely no idea what possessed me to first do it. Fact was though that visually it added length to the old chap instantly so it was a no brainer from there on in. Who isn’t going to go for the instant ego boost?! Besides, the fact is, I’m a hairy guy so if left unchecked it’s going to be a mess. As for the actual method, I tend to mostly use my beard trimmer.

I do, on occasion shave down there but being someone who uses an open razor, that process is more than a little tricky! It’s worth the hassle once in a while though as I do love the wonderfully smooth feeling down there, especially in the summer. It’s the funny thing about the wonderful world of blogging and twitter because I ended up having a discussion on the subject of male grooming recently with a girl I know and explaining the finer points to her. I do believe her eyes watered😂 I have on one occasion used one of those creams, not something I’m awfully keen to repeat! As for waxing……….NOT A HOPE IN HELL!! There isn’t any force in the universe that could compel me to do that.

I can’t say that the presence or lack of pubic hair is of any great concern to me one way or the other. I suppose if pushed I’d say my preference is for shaved. As a great enthusiast when it comes to oral sex, there’s definitely something far nicer about shaved. It’s the direct skin to skin contact with no interruptions. It somehow, in a strange way, makes things a little more intimate. I suppose as well it does away with the occupational hazard of rougue hairs in the throat too.

As for shaving my partners, this is something I have done many times. It’s something I really enjoy on many levels. It taps into the care and trust aspect I love. It’s a tremendously intimate experience which is a huge turn on, the preparation, the attention to detail of the actual shaving process and of course, careful aftercare. On a more base level it’s another form of blade play because as I mentioned, everything is done with an open razor. Yes, it’s fair to say I am a huge fan.

Would l let a partner shave me? I’m not entirely sure if I would. It’s not something I’ve ever thought about so I’d have to give that some thought. I’ll stay firmly on the fence with that one for now.

I don’t know whether my preference is down to anything other than what I have generally encountered in life or something else. Pubic hair or lack of it isn’t ever going to be a deal breaker, nor is it something I can ever recall being keen to change either way on a partner.

More KOTW here

Kink of the Week April 1-15: Glasses

“Men seldom make passes
at girls who wear glasses”  Dorothy Parker

I first heard that quote when I was young and to this day I’ve never quite understood it. To me, a pair of glasses on a beautiful woman enhances their beauty beyond belief!

It probably all comes down to my love and fascination with eyes. Even when I was young they have always held a special place for me. Without going into clichés, they really are the windows to the soul. People can hide body language but the eyes tell the story. It’s the way glasses seem to magnify and intensify the eyes that does it for me I think.

Also, the fact that different glasses change the entire look of the face, from smouldering to stylish, nerdy to stern to super intelligent depending on the frames. I have very fond memories of a former sub who had six different pairs, all of the same prescription. It was always a very great pleasure of mine to choose which pair she wore depending on my particular mood.

It’s hard to explain I guess. The thing that always gets me though is what I call “the look”. That moment when they glance over the top of the glasses. Gets me every single time and no matter my mood it takes me all my time to keep my mind on things. It really is my kryptonite!

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Many thanks to the lovely Kat for her timely demonstration