Pushing, pulling
Running away
Yet arms always open on return
And the mess when the same thing happens
When I should have acted differently
Bringing doubts of old
Demons of the past
Long since slaughtered
And deep down knowing
Could never again exist
Things that look beyond repair
Are always fixable
And the invisible thread stretches
But despite everything refuses to break
The things that can never be deleted
From the heart and soul
Afraid to feel more pain
Yet enduring it daily
Because some pain never fades with time
Despite what we tell ourselves
When sleep is no longer an escape
And the face and scent still present in the night
And the inability to quit fighting
For the only thing worth fighting for
No lies, no web of deceit
Just imperfect thoughts and actions
The corrosion, the toxicity
Of self doubt and insecurity
The sense of misunderstanding and loss
And dreams not yet fulfilled
Even when hovering between
Here and beyond
My last breath
Used to say your name
