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I’m with stupid

Can’t believe December has arrived already! It’s been a strange sort of year it has to be said. For most of the year I can say this was the best year of my life. I’ve honestly never known happiness like it. The wheels kinda came off things in October though. Then a fortnight ago it really got worse.

After a particularly heavy booze binge I found myself in hospital with alcohol poisoning and a blood alcohol level which the doctor described as usually lethal. The frightening fact was that for a brief time I did stop breathing. There was no bright lights or wonderous visions just nothing but me apparently mumbling the same name over and over as I slipped out of consciousness. All in all a pretty damn ignominious way to round out the year. I’m happy to say though I’ve been lucky and there seems to be no damage done other than to my pride.

I suppose my stupidity just goes to remind me that no matter how bad things look it can certainly always be worse. Not to mention the fact that I’m not as young as I used to be and really have to be more careful. Lesson painfully learned. So just remember, life is fleeting. Hold the one you love tight and don’t ever let them go. Be kind to each other but perhaps more importantly, be kind to yourself.

I hope the festive season brings y’all all you desire.

When love and hate collide

Pushing, pulling

Running away

Yet arms always open on return

And the mess when the same thing happens

When I should have acted differently

Bringing doubts of old

Demons of the past

Long since slaughtered

And deep down knowing

Could never again exist

Things that look beyond repair

Are always fixable

And the invisible thread stretches

But despite everything refuses to break

The things that can never be deleted

From the heart and soul

Afraid to feel more pain

Yet enduring it daily

Because some pain never fades with time

Despite what we tell ourselves

When sleep is no longer an escape

And the face and scent still present in the night

And the inability to quit fighting

For the only thing worth fighting for

No lies, no web of deceit

Just imperfect thoughts and actions

The corrosion, the toxicity

Of self doubt and insecurity

The sense of misunderstanding and loss

And dreams not yet fulfilled

Even when hovering between

Here and beyond

My last breath

Used to say your name

Perfectly imperfect

At that point where failures hurts more

And the safety net breaks temporarily

The few outweigh the many

And nothing makes sense anymore

Love should be enough

But mistakes hurt more

Without it then

It’s perfect

Wishing every ten minutes

Could last a lifetime
And love
Conquers all

Only

A picture painted in words and music

No photograph required

All the things

He’s no longer able to say again

Still counting sleeps in his mind

To convince himself he’s fine

The thing that will never fade

His heart’s only desire

No matter what time passes

He writes the songs

That no one else will hear

Don’t close your eyes

The numbness consumes

But never completely enough

Happiness turns to maudlin tears

Hopes and dreams to dust

No amount of whisky

Can drown out the feelings

Can hide the image of the face at night

And the sleep that never comes

The memory of the voice

And the laugh that mended a broken soul

Of mistakes made for the right reasons

Or what should be aeternum

Leaves no happy ending once more

Only silence

But all the time screaming inside

But the only war worth fighting

Is the one that can’t be won

Until the Babylon candle burns bright

And the yellow light blinks once more

TMI Tuesday: September 18, 2018

Welcome to sexy fun and playfulness at TMI Tuesday.

sexy fun, playful

1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes

Could probably be a combination of all three depending on my mood but I’d say C

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

C without a doubt. I’m very lucky in that both our libidos are very intense and closely matched so it’s never been an issue.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster

Without a doubt it’s A.

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?

I can’t really say I have any enemies to speak of and I’d imagine if I did it wouldn’t really bother me how they met their fate, just as long as they were out of my hair!

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?

Oh my god mimes have terrible outfits! I’m not a big talker a lot of the time anyway so I guess staying silent in my own clothes wouldn’t be too much of a hardship.

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world

Without a doubt……….Love.

More TMI here

F4TFriday #50 – What I Know Now

#F4TFriday

What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 18 year old you?

Probably that a slightly grumpy, antisocial person such as me is still lucky enough to have a pretty damn amazing sex life!

What one thing might shock that younger you?

I’m not sure there’s really much. Even from an early age my tastes and desires have been pretty much as they are now. The answer would probably be similar to question 1.

Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

I have been more fortunate than I probably deserve through my life in that most of the fantasies I had, I achieved relatively early on in my life. There’s only one I have left and I’m pretty sure that is gonna be taken care of very soon😏

What part of the younger you’s sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?

I honestly can’t say I look back with a great deal of nostalgia because for me it’s just got better and better, especially this past year. I suppose there was the initial sense of wonder those first few times but apart from that nothing really.

More F4TF here

TMI TUESDAY-February 6, 2018

1. Pancakes or waffles?

I’m greedy so can’t I have both? I suppose if pushed I’d say pancakes as long as they are smothered in Nutella!

2. Steak or Lobster?

I’m actually not a massive fan of either but lobster probably just edges it.

3. Freckles or dimples?

Dimples for sure. There’s just something cute about dimples.

4. Board games or video games?

Video games every time. I’ve been a massive fan for most of my life.

5. Dress up or dress down?

Dress down. I’m very much a jeans and T-shirt kinda guy.

6. Backseat of car or kitchen counter? (Of course I’m talking about a spontaneous place to have sex)

Kitchen counter every time. Never been a fan of car back seats. Too cramped for my liking.

7. Nipple clamps or handcuffs? Tell us why you chose your particular sexual encounter enhancement?

I’ve never really liked handcuffs so definitely nipple clamps. I like the reaction when I first put them on my girl, then pulling on the chain to tighten them, seeing just how much she can take…….

Bonus: How was your weekend? Would you like to repeat it or never see that weekend again?

I was working so I think it falls firmly into the never see it again catagory!

More TMI TUESDAY here

F4TF #33 – The Taste Of Things To Come

What is it you particularly like (or dislike) about oral sex?

Do you prefer to give or receive?

I’ve always been a fan of oral sex. Right back to when I first had sex I always loved it. Recently though I think it’s fair to say I’ve become even more of a fan of that is possible.

So what do I like about it? Well the easy answer pretty much everything! The taste, the reaction and the level of pleasure it brings to my partner. The way I can tease(or torment). Bring her incredibly close and stop or just bring her off over and over again to the point where she literally can’t move! I’m very blessed that my girl tastes incredible and is highly responsive.

As for giving and receiving, well until recently I’ve always been almost entirely a giver. For some reason receiving has done very little for me. I have absolutely no idea why but it’s always been the case. Besides, I’ve always got so much pleasure from giving. Again though I’m very lucky that my girl not only has a passion for giving (even more than recieving) but is blessed with ability that I’ve never experienced! It’s fair to say my interest in receiving has definitely been rekindled!

Overall though I’m still very much a giver.

More F4TF here