Can’t believe December has arrived already! It’s been a strange sort of year it has to be said. For most of the year I can say this was the best year of my life. I’ve honestly never known happiness like it. The wheels kinda came off things in October though. Then a fortnight ago it really got worse.
After a particularly heavy booze binge I found myself in hospital with alcohol poisoning and a blood alcohol level which the doctor described as usually lethal. The frightening fact was that for a brief time I did stop breathing. There was no bright lights or wonderous visions just nothing but me apparently mumbling the same name over and over as I slipped out of consciousness. All in all a pretty damn ignominious way to round out the year. I’m happy to say though I’ve been lucky and there seems to be no damage done other than to my pride.
I suppose my stupidity just goes to remind me that no matter how bad things look it can certainly always be worse. Not to mention the fact that I’m not as young as I used to be and really have to be more careful. Lesson painfully learned. So just remember, life is fleeting. Hold the one you love tight and don’t ever let them go. Be kind to each other but perhaps more importantly, be kind to yourself.
I hope the festive season brings y’all all you desire.
Yet arms always open on return
And the mess when the same thing happens
When I should have acted differently
Bringing doubts of old
Demons of the past
Long since slaughtered
And deep down knowing
Could never again exist
Things that look beyond repair
Are always fixable
And the invisible thread stretches
But despite everything refuses to break
The things that can never be deleted
From the heart and soul
Afraid to feel more pain
Yet enduring it daily
Because some pain never fades with time
Despite what we tell ourselves
When sleep is no longer an escape
And the face and scent still present in the night
And the inability to quit fighting
For the only thing worth fighting for
No lies, no web of deceit
Just imperfect thoughts and actions
The corrosion, the toxicity
Of self doubt and insecurity
The sense of misunderstanding and loss
And dreams not yet fulfilled
Even when hovering between
Here and beyond
My last breath
Used to say your name
At that point where failures hurts more
And the safety net breaks temporarily
The few outweigh the many
And nothing makes sense anymore
Love should be enough
But mistakes hurt more
Without it then
Wishing every ten minutes
Could last a lifetime
A picture painted in words and music
No photograph required
All the things
He’s no longer able to say again
Still counting sleeps in his mind
To convince himself he’s fine
The thing that will never fade
His heart’s only desire
No matter what time passes
He writes the songs
That no one else will hear
The numbness consumes
But never completely enough
Happiness turns to maudlin tears
Hopes and dreams to dust
No amount of whisky
Can drown out the feelings
Can hide the image of the face at night
And the sleep that never comes
The memory of the voice
And the laugh that mended a broken soul
Of mistakes made for the right reasons
Or what should be aeternum
Leaves no happy ending once more
But all the time screaming inside
But the only war worth fighting
Is the one that can’t be won
Until the Babylon candle burns bright
And the yellow light blinks once more
Could probably be a combination of all three depending on my mood but I’d say C
C without a doubt. I’m very lucky in that both our libidos are very intense and closely matched so it’s never been an issue.
Without a doubt it’s A.
I can’t really say I have any enemies to speak of and I’d imagine if I did it wouldn’t really bother me how they met their fate, just as long as they were out of my hair!
Oh my god mimes have terrible outfits! I’m not a big talker a lot of the time anyway so I guess staying silent in my own clothes wouldn’t be too much of a hardship.
Without a doubt……….Love.
More TMI here
What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 18 year old you?
Probably that a slightly grumpy, antisocial person such as me is still lucky enough to have a pretty damn amazing sex life!
What one thing might shock that younger you?
I’m not sure there’s really much. Even from an early age my tastes and desires have been pretty much as they are now. The answer would probably be similar to question 1.
Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?
I have been more fortunate than I probably deserve through my life in that most of the fantasies I had, I achieved relatively early on in my life. There’s only one I have left and I’m pretty sure that is gonna be taken care of very soon😏
What part of the younger you’s sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?
I honestly can’t say I look back with a great deal of nostalgia because for me it’s just got better and better, especially this past year. I suppose there was the initial sense of wonder those first few times but apart from that nothing really.
More F4TF here
1. Pancakes or waffles?
I’m greedy so can’t I have both? I suppose if pushed I’d say pancakes as long as they are smothered in Nutella!
2. Steak or Lobster?
I’m actually not a massive fan of either but lobster probably just edges it.
3. Freckles or dimples?
Dimples for sure. There’s just something cute about dimples.
4. Board games or video games?
Video games every time. I’ve been a massive fan for most of my life.
5. Dress up or dress down?
Dress down. I’m very much a jeans and T-shirt kinda guy.
6. Backseat of car or kitchen counter? (Of course I’m talking about a spontaneous place to have sex)
Kitchen counter every time. Never been a fan of car back seats. Too cramped for my liking.
7. Nipple clamps or handcuffs? Tell us why you chose your particular sexual encounter enhancement?
I’ve never really liked handcuffs so definitely nipple clamps. I like the reaction when I first put them on my girl, then pulling on the chain to tighten them, seeing just how much she can take…….
Bonus: How was your weekend? Would you like to repeat it or never see that weekend again?
I was working so I think it falls firmly into the never see it again catagory!
More TMI TUESDAY here
What is it you particularly like (or dislike) about oral sex?
Do you prefer to give or receive?
I’ve always been a fan of oral sex. Right back to when I first had sex I always loved it. Recently though I think it’s fair to say I’ve become even more of a fan of that is possible.
So what do I like about it? Well the easy answer pretty much everything! The taste, the reaction and the level of pleasure it brings to my partner. The way I can tease(or torment). Bring her incredibly close and stop or just bring her off over and over again to the point where she literally can’t move! I’m very blessed that my girl tastes incredible and is highly responsive.
As for giving and receiving, well until recently I’ve always been almost entirely a giver. For some reason receiving has done very little for me. I have absolutely no idea why but it’s always been the case. Besides, I’ve always got so much pleasure from giving. Again though I’m very lucky that my girl not only has a passion for giving (even more than recieving) but is blessed with ability that I’ve never experienced! It’s fair to say my interest in receiving has definitely been rekindled!
Overall though I’m still very much a giver.
More F4TF here